it's in there

it’s in there

I stood at my kitchen sink 

in the early evening

as the sun streamed 

through the south door of my apartment

during the middle of the week,

the reality in front of me 

was a cutting board and a knife,

I moved the blade 

from my left hand to my right

and a change of perception 

allowed me to see,

Caspar David Friedrich’s painting

The Wanderer above the Sea,

it’s the idea of potential

that’s challenging,

“I could have been anything,”

turns into

“I should’ve picked something,” 

which eventually becomes

“I never did anything.”

Pink Floyd’s ‘Time’,

it’s staring at this lamp 

that I remember an alternate me,

could we have been happy?

Fault shouldn’t be given for wondering,

but if I’m asked again

to read someone else’s poetry 

I’ll say, “If you need 

the approval then why 

are you still writing?”

I’ve never cursed so much 

as when the procrastinator in me 

faces midterm week

and I’m assigned another poet 

that I don’t want to read,

it’s funny 

that when I’m struggling

all I need is some different scenery, 

Kant’s idea 

of the sublime vs. beauty,

four beers or three,

does nutrition matter

if I’m no longer smoking?

It’s weird that we’re aging,

but don’t feel the need of necessity.

Life like a recurring fantasy, 

but without encouragement

is it possible for today 

to keep up with eternity?

We’re the ones tasked 

with solving the problem of humanity,

I don’t want to let unpredictability 

weigh me down 

while the calendar

moves from what could be

to something more like

a tyrant of authority,

it bounces between

polar extremes, 

trying to stay on track with a dream

when the summary of things

is a looping dance with destiny,

I close my eyes 

and take your hand in mine

while we witness 

open heart surgery, 

a Nicolas Cage movie,

it took a tragedy for Elijah Wood to break free,

we try to hide what we value 

as if it gets loose then we’ll lose,

but the truth is 

that as a seed

a man can’t grow 

without giving away 

what he needs.