idiosyncrasies

Idiosyncrasies 

The line 

on stimulus check day 

outside the liquor store 

on my way to work,

humming along

with Amazing Grace

the Monday morning 

after Easter Sunday,

or the blue grey haze of self-consciousness 

that could become the antagonist to change.

On Good Friday the sky went dark 

and the earth shook 

as my editing software died,

it took a three day wait

and a sacrificial sunrise,

but when the stone rolled back

the dream was alive

and I was building again. 

An Armenian from Idaho 

couldn’t back his flatbed truck

in the spot reserved for him,

talking with flip flops 

and wearing a heavy accent 

he said, “Up north 

we’ve been quarantine free 

until you Californian’s 

let go of one of your Chinese.”

It’s not that I have another place to call home,

but when you still want to leave 

even if you have no reservations elsewhere,

then you know you know,

it wasn’t that we didn’t fit,

I just didn’t know 

if it would be a forever place,

a dining room card table, 

a jigsaw puzzle,

that search for the final piece,

belief,

it might seem like a strength,but balancing on the tightrope 

between agnosticism and faith 

is exhausting,

“There are animals amongst us.”

“What do you mean?”

“A squirrel just walked across a fence,

a crow hopped by on that buildings ledge,

and my cat sits at my feet.”

“It’s like we co-exist.”

“Can we?”

A game of peekaboo 

that won’t have a happy ending, 

I’ll pop up there

and you’ll post again,

a new hand in yours 

and I’ll say, “Damn, 

take care of that one.”

The courage it takes 

to continue,

to withdraw, 

or to change

is as odd as the idea of grace,

it was an amazing thing

just to know your name,

how sweet the sound.